Work In Progress

I am a work in progress. I know where I’ve been, but sometimes I don’t know where I’m going. I have dreams, aspirations, vision. I also have student loans and a weird boss. So where does that leave me? It leaves me here…exactly where I’m supposed to me, exactly where Allah wants me right now. And no matter what comes my way, I will

strive, persist, and endure with peace in my heart knowing that the pens are withdrawn, the pages are dry.

Often, as I sit here contemplating how to share some of my more deeply held thoughts with you, I’m struck by the nagging questions…”What purpose do I serve?” “How can I be a positive force in this mess of a world we are living in?” “What is Allah (swt) asking of me?”

I’m sure you’ve all had these sensations before. As active, young Muslims, we’ve been trained to feel a sense of duty, calling, responsibility, purpose in our lives from a very young age. Now that I am out of school (for the time being) and my purpose is no longer to be the best student I could possibly be, the longing to understand my purpose in this dunya is even more poignant. Sometimes, so much so that it actually becoms a disturbance to my sense of peace and tranquility. It is a persisting question, a puzzle that I’m attempting to piece together with each passing hour, day, week. When I can’t figure out what piece fits best, I begin feeling frustration and anxiety because I know that my time is limited.

I don’t want to float through this life without contributing to my community, the lives of those in my family and of my friends, the Islamic movement in this country. But how? When? Where? In what capacity?

Sometimes, attempting to “find ourselves” can lead to just this sort of panic. The sense of urgency to improve our own small circle of life is a good thing. But if we allow it to overwhelm us, we might become so consumed that we lose our ability to function effectively, to trust in the gifts that Allah has blessed us each with and to trust in the wisdom and power of Allah to work in us and through us.

When we look around us, we see government officials lying to us while looking us straight in the eye, we see our soldiers fighting for an illegal war of profiteering and then coming home only to fight another war against a government that views our veterans as good enough to die but not good enough to care for. We see athletes and celebrities who live like kings and queens, but who somehow can’t stay out of rehab. We see more air time spent on immoral filth like Anna Nicole Smith than on real issues and real people who are making a positive impact in the world. We see……a mess.

And when we look at this mess, we have ideas, we have contributions, we have insight and wisdom and worthy opinions that could be categorized as earth-shattering….if only someone would listen. And the questions of purpose begin to manifest and the anxiety looms heavy once again.

It is during these times that we must stop…quiet our minds and hearts….find a peaceful place and go to Allah.

The Muslim brothers and sisters who I have met in my short time since converting in 2001 have the ability to change the world. They have the motivation, drive, willingness, integrity, faith, brilliance, persistence, work ethic, ingenuity and creativity to solve many of the hardest problems facing our world today. When we have such a dynamic community, we need to encourage and teach our youth the value of trusting in the power of Allah to guide us all, so that the weight of the world’s hardships does not fall on us all at once and crush our spirits.

When we feel lost or confused as to how we can contribute in our own unique way to the Muslim ummah and to this Deen that Allah has blessed us with, we need to go to Him, cry to Him, say to Him at the top of our voice, from the bottom of our Heart, with every ounce of our feeling,

“ya Allah, I so want to be part of Your Way and Your Cause. ya Allah, I want to discover the uniqueness that you have blessed me with as an individual for Your sake. I want to use this special gift to improve my world and to please You. Give me patience with myself. Give me persistence to trudge this difficult path. Give me faith and hope in Your guidance so that I may trust that You will lead me to my destiny. ya Allah, help me to make my life worthy of Your pleasure and one leading to al-Jannah.”

And then move forward knowing that Allah is in charge…so strive, persist, and endure with peace in your heart knowing that the pens are withdrawn, the pages are dry, and your book is truly a masterpiece.

~ by raggiungere on March 6, 2007.